CONTENTS
When do we talk about fear of failure?
What is fear of failure anyway?
How fear of failure goes unnoticed and plays an increasing role
How do you notice it's more than kissed tension?
The different ways in which fear of failure shows itself
What it does to you when fear of failure remains prevalent
What helps with fear of failure
Frequently asked questions about fear of failure
When do we talk about fear of failure?
You have a good job. You get confidence. People count on you. And yet with you, it doesn't always feel that way.
You prepare well, perhaps even better than you actually need to. You think ahead, try to avoid mistakes, and you set the bar high for yourself. To the outside world, it looks like you have everything under control. But inside, something else is at play. You feel doubt. Tension. You constantly feel the pressure to get it right and most importantly: to not make mistakes.
That tension has a name. Fear of failure.
What is fear of failure anyway?
Fear of failure is not just about being afraid to fail. It often runs deeper. It is the constant pressure you feel to meet. To expectations at work, within your environment, but often even more to the expectations you impose on yourself.
You want to do well. Maybe even perfect. And that's why "making mistakes" is no longer an option for you. Every review feels heavier than it needs to be. You keep thinking about what could have been done better, even when others are long since satisfied. The better you perform, the less visible it becomes to those around you. And precisely because of this, you can carry on walking around with it for a long time without anyone really noticing.
How fear of failure goes unnoticed and plays an increasing role
Fear of failure is often linked to school, exams and thus to young people. But practice shows something different. Especially people who seem to have their lives in good order regularly run into this.
Because you're not someone who does it by halves. You take your work seriously. You think ahead. You feel responsibility and want to do well, not only for yourself, but also for the people who count on you. Maybe you've also grown accustomed to doing well. That you deliver. That you live up to expectations. And for this very reason, there is no room to be "allowed" to make mistakes.
What does it mean to you when you fail once? You may not even consciously ask yourself that question, but you feel it constantly. In the excitement beforehand. In continuing to think about it afterwards. In the feeling that you always have to do better. The bar is high, but not just because others ask it of you. You put it there yourself. And without realizing it, it keeps shifting a little further and further away. What once began as motivation, as commitment, turns into pressure. Into a constant alertness that does not disappear when something is completed, but stays put. Maybe time to call for help.
How do you notice that it's more than healthy tension?
A little excitement is part of it. It helps you stay sharp. But there comes a point when it no longer helps, but works against.
You may notice that you keep doubting, even when you are doing a good job. That you keep thinking about what could go wrong, even before something has begun. That you find it hard to relax, because there is always something you have to take into account. Sometimes it manifests itself in endless preparation, as if you can only start when you feel everything is right. Sometimes it manifests itself in procrastination, because the pressure feels too great. And sometimes you notice that your body simply doesn't cooperate anymore, because of tension, restlessness or fatigue.
On the outside, little may change. You continue to function. But on the inside, it takes more and more energy until suddenly you can't keep going.
The different ways in which fear of failure shows itself
Fear of failure is not the same for everyone. For some, it is mainly in thinking. In continuing to analyze, doubt and think ahead. In the feeling that you have to be absolutely sure before you take a step.
For another, it plays out precisely in contact with others. In conversations, meetings or moments when you are visible. The fear of not coming across well or being judged can play a big part in this.
And others notice it mostly physically. That you block at times when it matters. The feeling that your words no longer come across, or that your body reacts tensely without being able to explain exactly why.
However it expresses itself, the core is often the same: the fear of not doing well enough.
What it does to you when fear of failure remains prevalent
If this tension remains present for an extended period of time, it manifests itself on several levels. You stay alert, you maintain continuous control, and you allow yourself little to no space to let go. This demands a lot from you. More than you may realize.
Fear of failure can cause you to have less and less energy, to tire more quickly, and to derive less pleasure from what you do. You miss opportunities because the pressure feels too great. That you keep going even though you feel it's getting to be too much. And then the most difficult thing of all: that it never really feels good enough for you, no matter how perfect it is objectively.
What helps with fear of failure
Fear of failure does not usually disappear by trying even harder. Often the solution lies in better understanding where the pressure comes from and what happens in your head at those moments. By gaining insight into this, space is created to do things differently. To look more mildly at yourself. To deal differently with tension and with the thoughts that feed this tension.
At U-center, there is extensive consideration of this. Not only about what you feel, but also about what lies underneath. In treatments such as cognitive behavioral therapy, you learn, step by step, how to break those patterns so that there is room to breathe, trust and move again.
Frequently asked questions about fear of failure
How do I know if I have fear of failure?
You often notice it in persistent doubt, tension around expectations and the feeling that things are never good enough; even when you are functioning well.
Is fear of failure the same as perfectionism?
No. Perfectionism is setting the bar high. Fear of failure is the fear of not meeting that bar. They often reinforce each other.
Does fear of failure affect my work or personal life?
Yes. It can cause tension, less enjoyment, procrastination and insecurity in contact with others.
Can fear of failure pass on its own?
Most of the time it doesn't. Especially if it has become a pattern, it will persist as long as you don't do anything about it. But it is easily treatable.
What helps with fear of failure?
Understanding your thoughts and behaviors, and learning to manage tension. Therapy, such as cognitive behavioral therapy, can help.
When is it wise to seek help?
If it costs you energy, it keeps coming back or has too great an impact on your daily life.
This blog is endorsed by Rosy Ghijsens / Psychiatrist
If you recognize this problem and would like to talk about it, don't hesitate to contact us without obligation.