It's Blue Monday again: the supposedly most depressing day of the year. With these tips from depression experts, you can start January 18, 2021 cheerfully. And the other days, too...
"When I walk away whimpering uncontrollably from a bad-news conversation with a patient, I know that things really can't go on," says former transfer nurse Brigitte Cobben (61). What started for her as an occasional depression day ended in severe depression with a death wish. U-center psychologist Ecem Kök (28): "Everyone has the blues from time to time: it's important what you do with it."
What is Blue Monday?
In 2005, British psychologist Cliff Arnall devised a formula to calculate the most depressing day of the year. The second-to-last Monday in January turns out to be the day when most people feel sad, dejected or wistful. This is said to be due to failed good intentions, vacations that seem far away, a lack of daylight and because Monday is the first day of the work week. The formula gets a lot of criticism in scientific circles, but pops up gleefully every year.
Watch out for worse
EVERYTHING. Too much pleasing. A tucked away trauma. Ignoring physical symptoms... Brigitte has no idea she is crawling into the den of severe depression via blue Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday. She and her husband have three children and work full-time. Against her heart arrhythmia, she takes beta-blockers. That's how she keeps all the balls in the air. Until she no longer rests from vacation, increasingly forgets file documents and blackouts at her computer. She solves it with overtime, a private office, part-time work and, finally, another job. "All stopgap measures," she observes in retrospect.
Be grateful
"Let's face it: we humans always want and expect something," Ecem states. "While happiness is more in the opposite. At U-center, we work with the traffic light method to make you aware of these and other feelings. And also of the complaints associated with them and what you can do about them. Feeling green? That means good. Orange is less and red is bad. That last color is also part of it, but don't get stuck in it. Revel in your misery for 15 minutes and then take action."
According to Ecem, what can you do to make yourself positive?
- Relax: call a friend, take a bath or take a walk.
- Make a list of your positive attributes: who are you and what do you have to offer? Then write down what you give others. From a listening ear to a good joke to your knowledge. You are worth more than you think.
- Dwell on what, at least, you don't need to change. For example, do you live in a nice house? Or do you have good friends? Keep a gratitude journal, for example.
- At a nice encounter, consider: what was my part in this?
- Do something good for another person.
Look at the whole
Brigitte ends up on sick leave and slips further and further psychologically. Seeing a psychologist an hour a week doesn't help her, just like many other people with multiple problems. In desperation, she reports to U-center after a year and a half. There she receives intensive treatment twice for seven weeks: first on site, then remotely. Ecem explains, "In our clinic, we help clients from a holistic vision: your body, mind and contacts are connected. That's why we treat not only through conversations, but also, for example, with somatic movement (body-conscious movement), drama therapy and physical therapy. Not to mention, we do so in a beautiful environment."
Feel and relax
Her traffic light is thankfully getting Brigitte under control. With what lessons does she now color her days green?
- I take regular rest: sitting with a cup of tea, watching the birds, enjoying the seasons....
- I make ceramic bowls in which I can express my creativity.
- I meditate and do yoga.
- I wonder if something really "should" be. From me or someone else? I no longer put off a decision.
- I keep a closer eye on the side effects of my medications.
"Intense and something for toppers," is how Brigitte summed up her shoot. "My protective layer crumbled, it felt so exposed." But above all, she is proud and grateful: "Thanks to U-center, I have my life back."